Life's a balancing act.
Work, family;
Studies, friends.
Studies, family, friends, God.
These days, I seem to be drowned in all these things.
I need to prioritise, juggle and manage time well. This didn't used to be an issue.
I'm wondering why now? It seems funny to say that I have problem with time management now when I used to take pride in my good time management. Talk about pride before the fall.

Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

15 Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.

16 And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

17 I thought in my heart,
"God will bring to judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time for every deed."

18 I also thought, "As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath ; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?"

22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

Now is the time to toil. Enjoy the studying while you can.

This holiday, I read, watched, learnt...
How should I put it? This holiday is certainly different from the previous; for one, I flooded the mailboxes of several profs and went knocking on their doors in search of a fyp. I am no favourite student of any prof and this is no doubt quite a challenge. But, reading up journals on the related topics is kind of interesting and I think I kind of learnt something from them. :)
Next, I think I know what kind of teaching method my student from tuition responds to. Finally, after all these weeks, I found it. It's definitely happy for me to see how she has been improving from her tests.
I've also watched countless films and movies. I read quite a number of books too. I started watching purely out of the entertainment factor. Hence, I was surprised when some of the movies that I watched had actually offered me some food for thought. Books too. Hmm.
Meeting and catching up with friends, dg mates, spending the afternoons or evenings just talking and praying for one another. These, on one hand refresh me, but yet, on the other hand, force me to examine my own character and personality and make me think of the sort of person that I want to be when I start the next phase of my life soon.
And finally, I think I rested. I think I did, but probably not enough.

"If you can't be a pine on the top of the hill, Be a scrub in the valley - but be The best little scrub by the side of the rill; Be a bush, if you can't be a tree.
If you can't be a bush, be a bit of the grass, And some highway happier make; If you can't be a muskie, then just be a bass - But the liveliest bass in the lake!
We can't all be captains, we've got to be crew, There's something for all of us here. There's big work to do and there's lesser to do And the task we must do is the near.
If you can't be a highway, then just be a trail, If you can't be the sun, be a star; It isn't by size that you win or you fail - Be the best of whatever you are!"

P.S.: I'm still waiting for more pics to come in... ;)

Is it the caffeine shot last evening or the hormonal rush from yesterday's commencement that is keeping me awake at this time? Funny, it wasn't even my commencement.
Honestly, I'm happy for all of you who just commenced or will be commencing this July.
My lab partners, lecture mates, tutorial mates, brothers and sisters, a huge congratulation and all the best to all of you.
I'll miss the time copying from your lecture notes cos I was asleep in lectures, photocopying your tutorial answers cos yours is better than mine, doing lab expt with you, sitting outside while waiting for lab to start so that it will quickly end, and tons of many other things.
For those who have found a job, I'm relieved and happy for you. Hope that you'll enjoy whatever that you may be doing.
For those who are still waiting for some job offers, I know how panicky and uncertain it can be. But so long as the heart and mind are willing, I don't think you'll starve. May you find your true calling too.
I'm sorry that I wouldn't be attending all of your commencements. Trust me, I'm still with you.
Thank you for making my uni life such and stay in contact.

A lazy afternoon spent with good old friends, doing nothing that's important, just simply spending time chatting, catching up with one another, or rather crapping, is something that I hope I can do more often.
Then again, if you were to be doing this every other day, won't you run out of things to say and crap about?
Moderation is the key then.
And yes, I was serious when I say that I hope there can be some guy version of Cheryl and Lisa, or some of my other girl friends. We click together so well don't we? And maybe some of them may secretly hope for a guy version of me too. Ha.

Many things have been revolutionised, all thanks to technology.
Recently, I stumbled across MidiPiano, a program/ software that allows one to play the piano using computer keyboard. How cool is that?!
Well, I gave that a try, and I thought that while it gives you the sound of the music notes, playing the computer keyboard isn't exactly a simple task. No doubt, for simple songs that only have notes in one octave, things can be straight forward. However, to configure the keys to the corresponding music notes with sharps and in different octaves, things can become more challenging. In all, while MidiPiano may offer a platform for those who don't know how to play the piano, or don't have a piano, playing the computer keyboard isn't anywhere close to playing the real piano.

Dear friends and all,
Thank you for all your birthday messages, greetings, prayers and presents. I really appreciate all you lovely people who remember my birthday. I had a wonderful day though the celebrations weren't any different from previous years.
Though I'm now one year older, my wish of becoming more mature hasn't changed. Each year, I hope to become a better friend, daughter and sister. I don't know whether I've become better, but this year, I certainly hope to live a life that God has want me to, to live according to His Word, and more importantly, to treat people He has placed around me the way He wants me to. Hopefully, this will help me to become a better friend, daughter and sister.
My sincere gratitude. =)

An idea has been floating around my head for months. I had wanted to announced it at one point in time, but I've not decided I'll be that generous or not. So far, only one person knew about this.

The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is nice! Realised that I have only been watching such chick flicks and romantic comedies these few years. Perhaps it's because I can't appreciate the stunts and effects of action- packed movies, and seldom do I fully grasp the story lines of fantasy movies. So brainless chick flick films with occasional good laugh and witty lines suit me best.

Yesterday was really a good day. Partly because the day started out right.

Morning shows are the best. It's when the whole world is either busy working or studying hard or still tuck in bed, deep in sleep. So in catching a morning show, you'll get practically the whole theater to yourself. I may well catch a morning show alone. It's a nice feeling.

The afternoon's wonderful too. Went to the Peranakan Museum. The Peranakan Museum was packed with students and a couple of tourists. I'm guessing that the Little Nonya kind of raised the awareness of the Peranakan culture among Singaporeans, which is why so many people are visiting the Peranakan Museum. Though we didn't spend a long time there, the exhibits that we saw and the things that we've read kind of corrected some misconceptions we had before of the Peranakan culture. I really hope we can go back there some day. Plus, we had a lot of fun with those 'embossing machines' that are placed all around the museum.

Went to Marina Barrage just last week. The heat was scorchingly unbearable when we went. But I thought that it was nice that we went to take a look. I'm sure it'll be nice to go there in the evening or at night if you drive and know the directions there.

Pictures from Marina Barrage!!!

We had wanted to go to the Peranakan Museum after that, but the heat made us all tired for an educational trip, so we ended up chilling out at The Cathay and talking. You know, the three of us haven't been talking like that for the longest time, and as usual, it was good.

Will not blogged on the stuff that we've talked about, they're too frivolous, like always. But, I must emphasize that intelligent comments did appear every now and then. I'm so looking forward to the next time. Till then, take care girls.

Btw, I'm having much fun with Google Earth! It's so fun!

Haven't been blogging for a while. Well, that's because... hmm.

Well, first of all, as most of you will know, my comp crashed in the beginning of the year and hence, as a result, most of my photos were lost and sadly, I didn't manage to retrieve them. After this episode, I wasn't in any mood to take any more pics or upload them cos I think that it may be a waste of time should the comp crash again. [But now, I'm back... cos I've downloaded the photo organizing software which I think is better than the previous generation.]

Actually, many a times, I had wanted to blog. But, I ended up deleting the post as I think it's way too personal. Instead, I shared some of those deepest thoughts with my closer ones, or rather, those whom I'm comfortable with.

For the past few weeks, I've been rather busy. But in the midst of it all, I've managed to give myself a retreat, during which, I thought of many things.

I used to be a crybaby. I was proud to be one, really. Because, behind those tears, I cry to get my way. And I'm proud to say that most of the time, I did get my way. Someone whom I don't really like once told me that it's loser's behaviour to cry. I never buy it. Not even till now. It's been a while since I last cried. Now, I don't cry to get my way. The last time that I cried in front of my immediate family was in J1, the holiday before the first Common Test. They were worried, but knew that I'll be fine. They knew I'm the worrisome sort. The last time I broke down in front of my friends was in J2, just weeks before the 'A's. They too, were worried, for they never thought that I'll be that stressed. I never tear publicly after that, not that I remember. I just too afraid of the aftermath. Then, if there's a thing called crying publicly, then there's of course something called secretly crying. The last time I did this was... hmm, there's a reason why it's called secretly crying. =)

And I thought of a reason why I particularly dislike a someone. It's not simply because of his behaviours, attitudes and the things that he did or said... but rather, it's because he represents something, some memories from the past which I've long wanted to forget and free myself from. I guess, there are some things which one can't forget. I've thought of burying and embracing those pasts, and making them part of my growth nutrients, but I simply can't. I once shared these things with a close friend, for I know that it can be potentially damaging to my mental health or something like that, and I did thought of seeking psychological help. But, at this point in time, I think talking to someone whom I can trust helps, thankfully. Now now, don't give me the surprised look on your face that says this is not the side of me that you know. This is a dark secret that I've been keeping to myself for the longest time.

Results were released this afternoon. Though my results has slightly improved, I was quietly disappointed with one of my modules. I thought I could have done better for that.
Enough about results. I have a feeling that this hols is going to be exciting, with quite a few plans lined up.
So friends, see you soon.

Met up with the dg for dinner last night and it was good. Though it was just a normal dinner, but the time was well-spent, I would say. I think it's the company and people that you're with and the things that we talked about.
So, there we were, spending the time talking about holiday plans, catching up on the latest of crusade's mission trips and the latest updates on our lives.
I really enjoy these times; the times when we could just talk without having to rush off to somewhere else; times where I could just bury myself in the books that I want to read, in the shows that I want to catch.

Thanksgiving service this morning that stretched till the early afternoon was wonderful. Gave thanks and worshipped the Lord for all that He had provided for us and for whom He is. We also prayed for those graduating and many others. It was great and refreshing to be able to hear from those graduating how God has had seen them through their years in NUS.
The message was good too. I've always liked the Crusade's messages... be it delivered during LMs, camps, whenever... they never failed to speak to me. Perhaps, they were crafted to target specifically to us, students. So, today's message was especially for those graduating and who will be joining the workforce. Nevertheless, I think it is suitable for many of us present us well.

" Out of the salt shaker, into the world." That's the tittle of the message.

"As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world." John 17:18

As we will all graduate from NUS and join the harsh reality of the working world, God desires for us to be sent together to heal; to heal the people around us, the relations, and the earth. For the Great Commission is a means to an end, not an end itself.

So, how can we heal and make this world a better place?

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matt 5:13-16

The steps to make this world a better place can be summarised as SALT.

S- Spirit-filled Christian. As a spirit-filled Christian, we will be able to add flavour, joy, love, peace and patience to our workplace. Start with small with our own immediate social circle, and let the spirit of God shines through us.
A- Ally yourself with other like-minded Christians whom you can pray with and find support. Together, pray for opportunities to share Christ, and pray also for office relations, blessings and discernments. Just as salt is able to preserves, ally with other Christians to preserve the truth.
L- Look out for what God is doing in your life and look for appropriate times and opportunities at the workplace to start spiritual conversations.
T- Tell the gospel.

With this, go out and bring healing to this earth. Let us be the salt that God has called us to be.

Yippee. Exams are over. Now, I shall keep my fingers cross for the results.

Lots of things to think through this hols. fyp, and stuff basically.

I know of many friends who are still going for their grad trips, or whose grad trips are pending. Please travel safely, in all aspects.
Also, there are many friends who are returning from their exchange from Canada, the US... hope you all are healthy and well too.
For the rest who are staying in the country this hols, practice good hygiene practises and be socially responsible.

Welcome hols.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fears are gone.
Because I know, I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
Blessed Easter.

Start of the long weekend. Good Friday is indeed good, for the obvious reason.
But that aside, I really hope and pray that more people will celebrate the REAL and TRUE JOY of this day.
I'm really encouraged and touched by how some of my friends are inviting non-believers to their churches.
I also hope that I will be able to step out of my comfort zone to reach out to these people too, including my closed ones.

I really don't know what's happening to me. I don't seem to have the tenacity and perseverance that used to be so evident in me when I was in secondary school and college; then it was 'when the going gets tough, I'll get tougher'. Now, given a choice, I'm so tempted to give up.
I question my intentions to want to drop that module. Is it because I haven't been trying hard enough? Or is it because I just want to take life easy and relax? Or is it a strategy to maintain my CAP? Or is it because I really can't cope?
I seriously doubt it's the last reason.
But talking to friends and asking for their opinions really help. Thanks people. I feel so glad just to be able to talk to them.
Having new goals and plans in life simply feels so good.

Just a few months before my 21st birthday, many close friends have asked me about my ideal boyfriend. Mentors, SM and many of my friends in church have been concerned about what I look for in a relationship and what will attract me to a guy. Many also offered to pray for me.

Also, since goodness knows when, romantic relationships (or the lack of it) have been dominating the many conversions with good old friends whenever we meet up for dinner.

More recently, my dad had started bugging me about it. He asked about the guys in school, my social circle and kept asking me to just find a guy to go out.

The last time I was attracted to a guy (in the very least bit) was when I was in Primary five ( I think, or maybe Primary 6). I remembered what attracted me to him was his intelligence, smartness and wit. He was a good in his studies, plays the piano and excels in sports. One of the nicest things that he said to me was: “You have a good stamina”. We were running 1.6km around the school field and I was over-taking him. (Perhaps this is why I like doing long-distance running J)

I remembered being happy just to be able to see him in school and studying together. I enjoyed being able to sit beside him and will always act nonchalant about his presence, though I will always want to see his expression from the side of my eyes. How silly it was!

But admiration didn’t last long. Not because I was attracted to another smarter, witter boy, but because some other classmate liked him too! I didn’t like the ideas of liking the same thing as others; take Power Rangers for instance. I initially liked the Pink ranger, Kimberly. But after knowing that my cousin liked her too, I changed my favourite to the yellow ranger. I started liking the underdogs then.

Anyway, we lost contact upon graduation from primary school and though we attend the same college, we weren’t in the same faculty. He was doing arts, and me, science. But, it wouldn’t have mattered.

I really have forgotten how it is like being attracted to a guy, and its associated emotions. I went to a girls’ school after that and I was really in study mode in college. In university, hmm. Let’s put it this way; I don’t have many guy friends to begin with and I feel that I’m not quite ready for a relationship for I don’t think I’m one who can multitask. But I guess it will quite blissful to have someone to secretly admire too?

Though I feel that I’m not ready for a relationship at this point in time, if God places me in one or there is an opportunity for one, I think I may go for it. Isn’t life about taking risk and trying things out?