Woohoo...post Chinese New Year, pre- start to the school after sem-break... how should I desribe my feelings right now? I really have no idea... the past 1 week have been rather good, thank God for that... I had spent quality time with my bros, my parents... hmm, looks like CNY i a good time for family bonding... we bonded over th extra long dinner on CNY eve and the first day of CNY... plus, everyone is in good mood because of the red packets and yummy good food... That's so much for post CNY thoughts... as for pre-start to school..hmm, I don't think I'm looking forward to it afterall... all you people out there must be shocked... how can such a thing come out from my brains...hey, I know that you all thought that yours truly here would love school since I'm such a nerd right? Well, I used to look forward to going to school back in secondary school and JC... no doubt about that... ha... I love the teachers, and friends... but now, going to school is kind of different... not that I don't enjoy the company of friends or the learning... it's just that I find that uni is really for the self-motivated... there's no one there to nag at you and give you pep-talks. And you know what, I find pep-talks very encouraging and motivational though many will diagree with me... (but Irma would agree with me). And so, in uni, you need to constantly motivate yourself to keep you moving forward... if you, you may just find yourself not wanting to study and move on... and this happens to me quite often... (Huh, another shock of the day for many people out there, ha)... But seriously, I find myself struggling to keep the passion for studying alive in me... But, I must say, I'm not alone in this... I discovered recently that my brother is going through this as well... It was in one of our most random conversion that he told me this... well, actually i's not that random. It started with the concern sister who wants to care for a younger brother who's taking 'O' levels this year. It goes something like that: Sister, S (me): So, have you been studying? Brother, B (still staring at the computer screen with MSN logged on, and a couple of other windows): Huh? S: Do you know what you are in for this year?B: What? S: It's your 'O' level year... B: Oh that... I know... S: And then? B: Then what? S (obviously frustrated at his lack of concern, and partly jealous at his ability to remain so relaxed even though he's taking the 'O's this year and truly amazed by how he could still sit in front of the computer for hours): So what are your plans? B(suddenly serious): Oh, I hope to do something specialised... but I don't know what yet... S (surprised by his reply): Ok, so do you intent to go to poly or jc? B: Hmm... I just put in my best effort and then let my results decide... S (marvelled by that reply): Huh? B: I mean if I do my best and can't get into jc, then I guess I can only settle for a place in poly... but if my results will get me a place in jc, then I'll make the decision later... so, all I have to do is just to work hard... S: Ok...(so he knows he has to work hard)...so, is this how you work hard? (referring to the comp). B: But studying is so boring... I must first find some interesting things to do before doing the boring studying...and hopefully, the interest will be spread... S: Ok (what a lousy analogy, but that sounds like what I will say too). B: But seriously, do you really find studying interesting?S (another shocking remark from him): Well, (in deep thoughts) I used to a few years back... I don't think I can say so now... B: That's why I want to do something specialised and hands-on... it's more interesting for me... S: Ok, everyone has different interest... but no one can escape the studying part... B: True, but I'm not trying to escape... I'm finding the interest to study through games .. it's my tactic... S: Oh... I see... you better get down to doing your homework soon... B (nodded, engrossed in his games)... Yep, so even my little brother is looking for the motivation to study, abeilt the warped theory... But I guess there's a lot of things that I can learn from him... like learning to relax and not be so engrossed in the paper chase that I'm chasing for it blindly... at the end of the day, it's not the paper qualifications we will be concerned about... Press on people... Cheers... and have a blessed CNY.